we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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