That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
