if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize