my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
