i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Randomize
