I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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