Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
