you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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