I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
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I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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