Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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