I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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