Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
