The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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