Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
