today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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