my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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