at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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