My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
