i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.