I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
