i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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