Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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