Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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