sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
