If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
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I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
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Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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