no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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