Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
