I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
