she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
