Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we're making bets on your personal life
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
