Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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