you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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