i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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