whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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