i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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