please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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