ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize