I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
