Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
