he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
