I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
