I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
