someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
