I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
