don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
