Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
