yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
