Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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