I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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