in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
