I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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