even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
