My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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