Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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