You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Randomize
